Trusting God Fully

Renew your relationship with Jesus each day. Pray every morning, and every night. The book of Mathew tells us to go and pray in the secrecy of our room, and not to use too many words because the Lord already knows what we need, and to fast in secret and not for the merit of men, not to improve what your peers think of you, but to please the Holy Spirit, and to store up treasures in heaven and not treasures on earth. This is important because it is what God's Word tells us.

Once in a Sunday school class when I was a child, they told me to do good deeds in secret, and not to tell other people about what I do. I remember that day like it was yesterday. That same Sunday school class also told me that we should trust the Lord even if we don't understand, because He is all-knowing and he knows what we need and what the world needs better than we ever can, so for example, I don't understand why being gay is so wrong, but for God, it is sexual immorality, so I accept His holy teaching, even though I don't understand. They don't hurt anybody: but they hurt themselves, because sex is dirty and sinful. I was raped in a nightmare that I had. He didn't even ask. I consented to kissing, but not to sex. When I had sex with Fluffy, at least he asked me first if it was okay. I said yes because I was bored and because I didn't know how to say no, and because we weren't married, and because he isn't the man I want to marry, it was sexually immoral. I trust God's wisdom above all else.

Maybe we can never fully understand, never be worthy enough, but God forgives us for our shortcomings, for not being enough. God's truth is what I seek, and His friendship and affection is all I truly need. I WANT a gym to go to, to lift weights, and to take dance classes, and to have a gymnastics gym with a foam pit and soft big mats to train in (and I am sure I will have it when I am in heaven - it is the treasure waiting for me in heaven. I will have that bright red longsleeved leotard I dreamed about - it is the treasure stored up for me in heaven. I feel my love for gymnastics.). I want clothing, but God says not to worry about clothing. I love wearing long flowing dresses and dancing, and, when I am meditating, swaying with my soul. But God will give me everything I need, and really all I need is God.

So be at peace, friends who are reading this. Leave a comment and tell me what you think.