How to wait for God

Patience is treasuring the wait. It is trusting God to guide us to the places that are best for us. Knowing that God will take us to the place where we belong. A place where we can be happy. A place where we know that we belong. What do we do with the blank pages in our lives? Sit and stare at them, without acting. Choose to let God fill them. I choose the way of peace and hope and love, whatever path that may lead me on. I will never give up. I will always move forward, though I may look back and reflect. My knee will heal…I know that. It’s one of God’s promises, which never fail. God’s Word never fails.

On the internet once I saw a comment that told me to treasure the wait for your beloved to find you. I met my soulmate, if only I am write and was telepathically communicating with them, and he told me "I love you not Mel." I wanted to say from the start, "I love you and Mel." I don't remember why I fell in love with Damon, but one day I will know - when God brings Damon to heaven and we meet again in fifty years. I'll still be young, Damon will be old and wise. At least, I hope he will be wise, I hope he will ask God for wisdom, and for love. I hope that he too will start to wait for God. I will watch my memories of him in heaven, and I am waiting for that day when I wake up on a bed in heaven and can start training gymnastics in the shiny red leotard I had a dream about and can start watching my memories in my new bedroom that God will give me and I'll start writing the story of my life, so-far at least. I am waiting for God; I am waiting for love to blossom; I am waiting for good fruit to harvest, peaceful stories to write. Smoking weed with groups of friends, friends that see each other as brothers and sisters. I want to wander safely, and wonder, and grow. I want to arrive home safely.

It will be hard for me to wake up early tomorrow for church, but I WILL wake up, and I'll drag myself out of my bed and out of my dreams and put on my black tights and put my dress on. I love wearing dresses and feeling thin and athletic. I love going to church. It is peaceful and safe. I love worshipping Yahweh with kindred spirits, singing songs and anthems and hymms, eating communion and praying by the stage, listening to sermons. It is a beautiful process. I believe in Jesus and will follow Him forever and ever. I will never die, because I already did, and God gave me a new, immortal body, and I started to become an angel when I was in the last psychiatric hospital. I want to be a gymnast and a dancer and a psychologist. I'm a writer, but not that good of one. I'm a gymnast at heart, and I am waiting as patiently as I can to train and learn gymnastics in heaven or at Preston Gymnastics in Gaithersburg, if I buy a car and get a job, but definitely in heaven.

So follow your heart. Do what makes you happy. Sing and dance and leap for joy. Talk to God and trust him. Love him with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your strength, and love your neighbor and your enemy. That's all I have to say for now. Be at peace with each other!